I did it !

Well, today is my birthday......it's a biggie, a "not so great number" kind of biggie..... 40..... I have not been looking forward to this one AT all. I woke at 6:30 or so and listened to a podcast for an hour on my ipod, then to some Mraz for another hour or two. I had an incredible experience while laying there zoning out, not one I would expect for this day in particular (which in my mind should have a grey cloud over it - ha ha ) but I started to feel an area of density taking up room in my chest, growing like a bubble. This bubble was filled with joy and it was pushing outward with only my skin to keep it inside. Simply awesome. I was smiling and tears were brimming. Not what I expected to feel today of all days. I hope it is signaling the start of a shift in my life.

I am proud of myself. I did something that was completely out of the norm. I was very scared - as usual, a nervous nelly about everything - but I did it anyway.... I accepted a gift from the universe. I mentioned in a previous a post about Reconnective healing, I had 3 sessions from a practitioner and was so intrigued I researched as much as I could about it and went to a seminar ( took 8 months to be taught near Atlanta ) in South Carolina this past weekend to learn it myself. It's a no turning back kind of thing to learn, you are changed forever (that was the scary part ). I am in awe of what I feel, it's crazy awesome.

WTF is my problem ?

I have the interest, the time, the want and the idea to get me started... so what's my fucking problem already ????? Is it procrastination pure and simple, just lazy maybe ?

....... I have an awful feeling that it might be fear. . . I know why fear may BE the reason but can't wrap my mind around why it should matter so much that it has stalled me out... It's not like I expect anything out of this but a hobby to entertain myself..... I don't know, I'm just making excuses I guess, bitching just to bitch.

I am making myself a promise to start small scale instead of whole hog. One writing exercise a week,or even a month for fun only, not to make too much out of it. Finding my voice is key.

Mraz concert Sept 22

Any takers on meeting up - especially any JM blog regulars ????

Charelston SC Mraz concert - it would be Yay !

I'm Feeling Naked Already....

This is quite personal and I have never told anyone about this, but, this blog is about "me", getting "me", and putting "me" down on paper, and hopefully learn to better express myself as time goes on.
So, something happened to me a few years ago that has had a profound effect on me.... I was never the girly mushy squishy feelings gushing out kind of girl growing up, so this event caught me by surprise:

I was watching "Proof of Life" one night (with Meg Ryan and Russell Crowe ) all by myself about 7 years ago, when it came time for the 2 main characters to kiss or not kiss, (dramatic moment in a doorway w/ married woman and the hunky hero ) I found myself sitting on the edge of the coffee table with my hands waving around, arguing with the screen - Kiss her! –- No, don't kiss her ! –-- No, kiss her ! --- when all of a sudden my physical heart did something weird, it gave an extra beat or I guess you could say that it "leapt", it was the oddest most wonderful sensation with a heatlike tingling energy emanating from my heart area, I’ve never felt it before ( funny comparison would be like the grinch’s heart: “it grew three sizes that day” busted out of the box, ha ha ha ) and for the record I was never ever a cold person at all, I love big long hug’s and men, and kissing, oh wow – yup, love kissing… anyhoo, from then on every time I see a kiss on screen it happens again and again. My mind feels more connected to my heart since then, like all this fruu fruu love stuff from poems and movies, songs -it’s a tangible thing now to me. I understand it all so much better and has made me want it more. I want to write poetry now, write songs and maybe even try an actual novel.
Okay…. now here is that feeling I knew was coming… the feeling that I should delete all of this, forget about it and move on, but I can’t or really I shouldn't do it. This “naked” feeling I am experiencing is part of it all. This is what writing is about. I suppose that’s when you know you are on the right track.

Jason's blog post tonight......

It's rare that an artist can make you feel like you are in the room with them, being connected to the bits of emotion and pieces of himself that came together for a particular lyric or verbiage or comment.

Jason did it again, he posted a poem tonight that were not even of his words and he was present IN them.

He is very inspiring to me creatively. I have always wanted to write a novel. Never written any kind of stories before. Never took classes for writing. I'd most likely have poor grammar/ puctuation issues glaring out at the reader BUT I feel that it is possible, that I have the ability to express what I want to express, it may take me longer for me to get it right since I have no training but I am excited for the challenge, excited to try. I won't be heartbroken if it's horrible, I'll know that I tried:) and I will try again.

Goodnight.

~ D

The "South" hee hee

I went to the mechanics shop yesterday to get my tire replaced since it had a huge bubble in it and there was a Rooster ( named Roo-Roo) walking around cockadoodledooing. It was quite funny to me because sometimes I forget that I moved to Georgia until I see something like this. It has been 11 years and I am still seeing things that make me laugh because you would never see those things in Massachusetts.

I had major homesickness yesterday, it doesn't happen too often but when it does I just want to hop a flight to see old friends and family, give my BFF a big hug and laugh with her in person instead of on the phone. Drive around the streets that I grew up on and see the old house, see my Dad. I should stop talking about it or I'll feel homesick all over again.

Well, that's it for today, not much going on, still unemployed, mother still lives with me, a friend from Florida called 2 days ago and asked if he could stay here while he get's re-established in Georgia, I said sure, the more the merrier I say ! :)

♥D

Pretty Boy !

My super cute boy with his very manly, blue mani/pedi !

I think I'll do the kitties next - Although they are girls- I guess I have to go get some pink and purple !

Poor little Blue Jay... :(

Found a Blue jay on his back on the driveway yesterday, he was hurt but still breathing and cawing/tweeting(?) either way he sounded terrible, so into the cat carrier he went and took him to a wildlife preserve to see if they could help him. After the guy felt around he found three spots of his wing were broken and the worst bone for a bird to break was one of them, so they had to put him out of his misery. At least he didn't have to suffer any longer. I hate seeing animals in pain. They are so helpless and loving, my heart breaks to think of them feeling anything other then loads of love back at them.

On a more hopeful note.... I have an interview tomorrow at a Vet office, I applied about a month ago so I was ecstatic to hear from them Friday to set up this interview. I worked at a vet before about 9 years ago it was fun, they just don't pay much is all. I can't be picky right now since everybody and their brother are going for the administration jobs there seems to be no way to get a job in that area unless you know someone. Plus my goal is to learn this reconnection I have been talking about in previous blog entries, and when I learn it to focus on animals primarily. While doing that I will keep on developing my writing skills more and more and attempt a writing project. I have had a lot of time off here ( 6 months) but when I try to focus on writing, my subconcious is hindering my attempts by saying I could be using my time more effectivly by job searching and then the moment is ruined.

More later maybe....

And another one down and another one down, another one bites the dust- hey hey

Mother nature paid a visit to my backyard today, knocked down a very large tree of our's through my neighbor's fence. It only took about 7 minutes of a super duper wind and rain storm and boom, thankfully it fell parallel to his house a few feet from it so no harm done except the fence so that is tomorrow's task, get someone out to cut it up and take it away. Thanks Mother nature, I am sure that you took it down today to save it from being diseased and dying a slow death or saving it from falling on it's own onto something like a human or woodland creature. Either way the tree's time was up and must be dealt with. Thanks Ms Nature♥

Did you know .... ?

Did you know that Asparagus makes your pee smell really bad ?!!
Holy cow, I ate it for the first time tonight and within 20 minutes - Whammo.
I didn't know at first what was up, couple hours later it was still awful so I googled it, and wouldn't you know it happens to half the people who eat it- Soo weird.

I am trying to eat healthier things lately and asparagus was one of the newbie's for me, next is black bean cakes, never had them before so that'll be interesting.

See ya !

"The Reconnection"

So, it's Wednesday... I am about to set up for a second appointment for Reconnective Healing. If you do not know what that is it is Mindblowing to say the least, it is as it states, a healing modality. The practitioner taps into a frequency of energy that has to do with quantam physics and energy fields, for about 30 minutes she is moving around you while being a catalyst through her hands and heals you without even touching you. You can have 1 to 3 sessions depending on what your body needs but I am being serious here when I say that my mother also had a session with her main concern being her back. It no longer hurt her, not even one little bit, and this was Friday of last week and to this day she STILL has no pain in her back - she always had to lean on stuff all day long, I even got her a collapsable cart for Christmas to take out of the house with her so she can get around. I will say it again- Her back NO LONGER hurts at all, and her numb finger from a 15 year ago car accident is no longer numb, and many other things are better.

The practitioner brings your body's vibration to a higher level, and in doing so all disease ( which are at lower levels of vibration) just fall away from you. It is amazing to say the least. We are going again hopefully before the week is out. You know your engaged in it during the session because there are things called "registers" that happen, like, your eyes start moving around and you can't stop them and sensations are happening throughout your body too. I am ecstatic that my Mom feels soo much better.

I have mentioned Dr Eric Pearl before in this blog and this "Reconnection" is the result from him stumbling into it about 20 years ago. I highly recommend that you check it out, google or youtube it and keep your mind open to it. ☺

Like a scene from "8 heads in a dufflebag"... :)

Jessica came over to practice for her state board test again and I thought this looked funny especially if you aren't used to being around "heads", a bunch of mani head's dumped on the floor for her to choose from and start cutting on and that's only one bagful of them I actually have more in the basement.

Freaks the cat's out bigtime ! ☺

BFF- Flea ! ♥

"Me & Flea"
I just posted pic's of my kitties and I already posted a pic of my dog Angus, so I figured I'd post a pic of my best friend since 8th grade, Felicia, I have always called her "Flea", she still lives in Massachusetts where we grew up, and I've lived in Georgia for about 11 years now, I miss her sooo much, she was a couple years ahead of me in school and was held back 2x for various health reasons- diabetic- and missing half the year both years, so she got better and fell into my grade and that was it, we met and hit it off, now we're are like "pea's and carrot's " ( Gump'ism ). Our school was sooo small, it combined 2 town's and when I graduated we had 54 kids in my senior class and the school was 7th -12th grades, no football team either, teeny tiny. She laugh's at everything and laugh's all the time. I distinctly remember a Scrambler ride in the rain, the guy let us go for about 5 regular ride length's since we were the only ones on it and we laughed the whole time, I miss dancing at CityClub and falling down the icy driveway with our coffee's in hand and laughing our asses off the whole way down the hill, and just hanging out. I miss her and want to give her a big big hug, my bff ♥ love always.

Kitty introduction: " Happy" & "Toonces"

This is " Happy "

She is hilarious ( there are 2 cat's) they both are actually even though they hate each other. I just recently started letting both cat's go outside after years of being indoor cat's - I was tired of cleaning kitty pans- and, yes they have their claws so they can defend themselves, which the other one did a week ago, we had to visit the vet since she got into a fight and got a fever after a couple days: The vet office has a new one time shot they give for this occasion which is sooo much better then trying to give liquid med's to a cat a few times a day, not fun. So she is fine now.

And this is "Toonces" ( after the SNL skit- Toonces the driving cat)

She got me in the eye with her claw last year, she was just playing, but her claw went right into the pupil- ouch is putting it mildly- and so it was a trip for me to the emergency room, which is rare, and a full week in the bedroom, it was just about the worst experience I have ever had, I couldn't open my eye without it hurting or close it or just "be" with out it hurting soo bad, like I had glass scraping my eyeball or something 24/7, I had to clip beach towls to all the window's to keep the light out, that was a looong week ! But I hold no grudge, she is still my cutie bipolar kitty and I love them all♥

It's flip flop time - No more hiding them in shoes !

The nice weather is finally here . . . ☺

Time for cute feet ! ! ! Yeee haaa ! ! !

These are my tootsie's - I didn't do too bad with the polish if I do say so myself !

I think all feet are cute anyway, even the crazy looking ones . . . . ♥

Wigglebutt☺

This is my wigglebutt "Angus"- I am writing about him because as I was just logging on he had a seizure, poor boy :(
I really wish he didn't have them anymore, ususally 1 a month and they last about 8 minutes - He weigh's 112 pounds ! That's a lot of wiggling pooch to keep in one spot so he doesn't hurt himself - I'm worn out ☺
But now he is eating his treat's ( carrot sticks) and running around like nothing happened so all is good for another month.

♥

Waiting on a friend...... yawn :o

I am waiting for a friend to come over, she asked me to help her practice for her state board exam so I'm just killing time on here, she is late. So anyhoo- I freaked myself out last night about midnight, I finished reading that book on "reconnection", I got to the part where he tells you how to do it/how to channel the energies (?)... so I did what he said.. stood in front of a full length mirror and held my hands the way he said to and waited for some sort of sensation in my palm or hands, I waited about 2 minutes and felt the slightest "something" and freaked out, I went running back to bed and got my nose in a magazine to distract myself, then tried to sleep and couldn't sleep without thinking about it, so I put my ipod on and that helped tremendously, I conked right out. I know I am such a weirdo. So now, today my tummy feels flipped upside down or something from being nervous about it- geek.
She is still not here -I'll keep chatting- I packed up a bunch of clothes this morning for Goodwill and an old printer and scanner as well. I hope to clean out one more closet and bring that up there, clear out some of this clutter.
It's sooo nice and breezy outside and about 72 degrees- yeah ! I don't know about you but I love wind, it makes me feel so alive with all the air swirling around you. I think I will go sit on the deck and enjoy it waiting for her... later♥

Earth Day ! ( blog- one day late )

My 1st Blog ever !
I am really excited about Earth Day yesterday ! I went out and bought those material grocery type bags and have recently installed a reverse osmosis system in the house. So no more Water Bottles and no more Plastic Grocery Bags - I am so excited. I probably should'nt have spent ANY money since I am still OUT OF WORK- Waahhhhh. But it feels very good anyway!
More later ! Health and happiness to everyone♥
Dawn